Thursday, January 24, 2013

January 24, 2013 - Bullying in Middle Grade Literature



AnshaKotyk Hey everyone! #mglitchat -9:02 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @KDuBayGillis no worries! #mglitchat -9:03 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @elliefalcone Hey Ellie, how are you tonight? Ready to discuss the topic? #mglitchat -9:03 PM Jan 24th, 2013



JeanGiardina Yay! My first #mglitchat in forever. -9:03 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk Hello! *waves* #mglitchat -9:03 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @JeanGiardina Welcome back! #mglitchat -9:04 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @ilanawaters HUGS! #mglitchat -9:04 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite Evening! #mglitchat -9:04 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @AnshaKotyk I hope I can keep up. How are you? #mglitchat -9:04 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @ilanawaters I've decided it's all about love tonight, even if it's a tough topic. #mglitchat -9:04 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @raeannparker Hello!! #mglitchat -9:04 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @cdaleywrite Welcome! #mglitchat -9:05 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @elliefalcone Doing well, my book with a bully theme is up in the charts today. So this chat is well timed. ;) #mglitchat -9:05 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk So the question of the night. #Bullying and how it's handled in mg lit #mglitchat -9:06 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk That is why we need MOAR LUV!! *hugs back* at #mglitchat -9:06 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel RT @AnshaKotyk: So the question of the night. #Bullying and how it's handled in mg lit #mglitchat -9:07 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @AnshaKotyk Congratulations! #mglitchat -9:07 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat Hi all! A bit l8 but I made it! Our remote with Netflix disappeared without a trace- been searching 4 it no luck! -9:07 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @elliefalcone Thanks, it's free today! That's why... but more on that later. #mglitchat -9:07 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk @elliefalcone The universe is on your side! #mglitchat -9:07 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Do you have a link to it? I'll download it! #mglitchat -9:08 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel remotes are funny like that, they need "the clapper" attached to them! #Mglitchat -9:08 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @elliefalcone @AnshaKotyk Ditto! As long as it's up in the charts, the exposure is what matters :) #mglitchat -9:08 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk I know! Seriously- I keep thinking somebody should invent a remote control tracker- but I'd prob lose remote 4 that! #Mglitchat -9:08 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk http://t.co/OIv5C1OB #mglitchat <---my 'bully' book. although it's more of an adventure. -9:09 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge Looking forward to everyone's comments tonight. My *almost complete* WIP is about a group of bullies. #mglitchat -9:09 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel Wait--you have a Netflix remote? What is this wonderful device, and why have I not heard of it? #mglitchat -9:09 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat I gave a seminar on it last year, and found a variety of treatments- I really hate preachy! -9:09 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters Well, it's actually the remote for the "smart blu-ray" player, with a Netflix button on it. #mglitchat -9:10 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @rachelnseigel I need one for my cell phone! #mglitchat -9:10 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @ilanawaters HI!!! *hugs* *suffocates* #mglitchat -9:10 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters LOL. RT @rachelnseigel: I keep thinking somebody should invent a remote control tracker- but I'd prob lose remote 4 that! #Mglitchat -9:10 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AmyHoldge We all need a universal device finder! #mglitchat -9:10 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AmyHoldge Uh-oh--they run in packs! #tru #mglitchat -9:10 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina My current MG ms contains bullying scenes. Hoping for thoughts and book recommendations from the #mglitchat crew. -9:11 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @ilanawaters I'm afraid I haven't read many books with bullies in them. The Silver Chair. Ender's Game. #mglitchat -9:11 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel any book suggestions for starters? #mglitchat -9:11 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @ilanawaters They're all probably meeting together right now, laughing at us. #mglitchat -9:11 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel Hmmm...seems like this would B 1 area where it's ok 2 get preachy. As in, "stop tormenting others, U little !@#$." #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel Ahhh...I must get one of those. But first I'd need blu-ray. #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone Bullying comes up in my book but it's not the focus. Actually, my mc gets suspended for defending himself against bully. #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk I was pleased to c "Journal of a Cyber Bully" this year for MG. 1st time I saw that topic handled in a novel! #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes First/still awesome bullying book I read: Blubber, by Judy Blume. #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @cdaleywrite is here! Now we can par-TAY! Also, she has new book coming out in Feb. #holla #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters LOL! It can't only b a "don't bully" message. #mglitchat -9:12 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters I like my electronic toys. #mglitchat -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Always seemed to be a theme I was drawn to, even though I can't remember all the Scholastic paperbacks I bought back then! #mglitchat -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel How about bully redemption? Any books with that? #mglitchat -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes And, hello, #mglitchat -ers! It's been far too long! -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @elliefalcone I have that too, loosely based on real experience. #mglitchat -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @JenniferCEstes yes yes. far too long. #mglitchat -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel But what else is there? #curious #mglitchat -9:13 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge Mine!! RT @AnshaKotyk: @rachelnseigel How about bully redemption? Any books with that? #mglitchat -9:14 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AmyHoldge LOL. In the safety of a twitter chat, I'd *totally* flick boogers back at them. #mglitchat -9:14 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters Like anything- message can be there, but shouldn't be hit you over the head! #curious #mglitchat -9:14 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AmyHoldge @AnshaKotyk When is it coming out? #mglitchat -9:14 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk It's a bit mature for MG, but 50 Cent's "Playground" was excellent! #mglitchat -9:15 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Hey all. Just got here. One: hope all is well. Two: don't like stereotypical bullies-- a la head cheerleader, etc. #MGLITCHAT -9:15 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @elliefalcone I think this happens a lot--kids get in trouble "for fighting" when bully-defending. #mglitchat -9:15 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel That actually fascinates me. 50 cent huh? #mglitchat -9:15 PM Jan 24th, 2013


maliseherrera RT @AnshaKotyk: So the question of the night. #Bullying and how it's handled in mg lit #mglitchat -9:15 PM Jan 24th, 2013


maliseherrera RT @AnshaKotyk: RT @KDuBayGillis: I hope #mglitchat gets participation from teachers tonight. Love to hear how they are using MG novels to address bullying. -9:15 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Yes! He wrote it for his son who is around 12-13. Was being bullied.. #mglitchat -9:16 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes The story should not be that there's bullying, but how it's dealt with by MC. Every MC will be different. Every story different. #mglitchat -9:16 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Is from the point of view of a bully, and really examines how a bully is born and his transformation. #mglitchat -9:16 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes *waves to @AnshaKotyk * #mglitchat -9:16 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @rachelnseigel I hope to start querying mine in the near future. #mglitchat -9:16 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel That's very cool. I'll have to add it to the READ pile. #mglitchat -9:17 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite I know of more real life stories. Used to take taekwondo and a 10yo fellow student stopped a boy w/ a knife at his school #mglitchat -9:17 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk The MC does swear quite a bit- which is why it's slightly older, but it's so good! #mglitchat -9:17 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone I keep thinking of The Big Splash http://t.co/PB1ec8D1 #mglitchat -9:18 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge Awesome! RT @ilanawaters: @AmyHoldge LOL. In the safety of a twitter chat, Id *totally* flick boogers back at them. #mglitchat -9:18 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat Also at the upper end of the spectrum are James Howe's Misfits, Totally Joe and Addie on the Inside- MCs are in JR High. -9:18 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @ilanawaters I think so too. #mglitchat -9:18 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes I have a wip that is POV of an accidental bully, for lack of a better term. Girl tangled in girl drama, friend/frenemy issues. #mglitchat -9:19 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk #mglitchat I've actually avoided bully books since I wrote mine, because I was bullied. I feel that discomfort of the victim all over again? -9:19 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AmyHoldge Cuz, you know...that's the mature, middle-aged woman thing to do . . .#mglitchat -9:19 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk *more hugs* Sometimes, you have to go to the dark place to get the good writing. #mglitchat -9:20 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone Dear Bully is a great resource. A lot of familiar names. And sad stories. #mglitchat -9:20 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel I grew up in Jersey, the swearing will be okay for me. ;) #mglitchat -9:20 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk LOL! It was totally appropriate for the character in any case. #mglitchat -9:20 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @elliefalcone It was a very hard book to read- especially as someone who was bullied, it hit home. #mglitchat -9:21 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @elliefalcone Def YA though! #mglitchat -9:21 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Accidental Bully sounds like reality show! I like that. The disposition grows organically, not merely b/cause of character's ID. #MGLITCHAT -9:21 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk True. #mglitchat -9:21 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge That & spit wads. : ) RT @ilanawaters: @AmyHoldge Cuz, you know...thats the mature, middle-aged woman thing to do . . .#mglitchat #mglitchat -9:21 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AmyHoldge Ooo--spitwads. I'd forgotten those! Wonder if we have any straws in the kitchen...#mglitchat -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @WriterRoss That's what I mean -- not the popular cheerleader, just a kid who finds herself in that place. Hmm. Call Bravo! #mglitchat -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat a good bully book should demonstrate bullying behaviours and offer positive solutions, as well as helping kids recognize it! -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel *snort* Word. *Jersey fist bump* #mglitchat -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @AnshaKotyk Thanks! Looking forward to starting Gangsterland :) #mglitchat -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @rachelnseigel I had a hard time with it as well. Lots of tears. Same reason. #mglitchat -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #mglitchat many kids don't realize they are bullying until they see an example that mirrors their own behaviour. -9:22 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @ilanawaters *snort* is right. :) #mglitchat -9:23 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina In my ms, I'm trying to show what happens to an introvert who has to deal with an atmosphere of bullying. #mglitchat -9:23 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters What about adult role in bullying? Parents of bullies abusive or absent? #mglitchat -9:23 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel So is it a good thing in a book to be more subtle with the bully message, because kids don't see it inthemselves? #mglitchat -9:23 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #mglitchat I find even when MG novels r not specifically about bullying, there is often a bullying aspect to them- ie Wimpy Kid. -9:24 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Absolutely! Kids always know when they are being "talked at" #mglitchat -9:24 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes The tricky part about writing a story with bullying is to not get preachy or didactic. Truth, but with hope. It's MG, after all! #mglitchat -9:24 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel Is this reminiscent of the pecking order of middle school? #mglitchat -9:24 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge I had to rewrite parts of mine to avoid being "preachy." Instead I showed the characters react and if the reaction worked or not. #mglitchat -9:24 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters It doesn't vary much from typical MG. At younger level, adults more involved. In MG & YA less so. #mglitchat -9:25 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss A fave of faves: Allen Zadoff's FOOD, GIRLS, AND OTHER THINGS I CAN'T HAVE. A good romp through bullydom but hero is the "loser." #MGLITCHAT -9:25 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk That's always part of it! #mglitchat -9:25 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JoMarieBankston #mglitchat From research I've done, kids who are bullied by their parents often end up as targets at school - the weakness shows. :( -9:25 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat when I did my research for this, I was surprised at how little I found that dealt with girl bullies. Only a scant few. -9:25 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone Sherman Alexie's True Diary of a Part-time Indian has bullying in it. Poor Junior gets his butt kicked. Handled with humor. #mglitchat -9:25 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @elliefalcone A lot of high schools use it for novel sets. #mglitchat -9:26 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @elliefalcone Awesome book! But I'd make that YA? #mglitchat -9:26 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel I think what I meant was showing how bullying is a systemic (family) problem, not just individual one. #mglitchat -9:26 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite Lots os super heros were bullied. Spiderman et al. Prob why kids like them so much #mglitchat -9:26 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel maybe becuase the term bully has always been associated with male? Goodness knows girls are just as guilty. #Mglitchat -9:26 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @JeanGiardina A more sensitive approach as opposed to fighting back? #mglitchat -9:27 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk In girls they call it "relational aggression". #Mglitchat -9:27 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes One thing about MG vs. YA - YA gets to show the pain of bullying more bluntly? But I wonder if MG aged kids feel that too? #mglitchat -9:27 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @JenniferCEstes Probably. #mglitchat -9:27 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters Oh- yes. Sometimes, though often parents are hapless. #mglitchat -9:27 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @AnshaKotyk OMG, when I think of bullies, I think of girls! #mglitchat #memories -9:27 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Oh yes, girls are vindictive! #mglitchat -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk A good one was Marissa Moss' Amelia's Bully Survival Guide or Trudy Ludweig's "Confessions of a former bully". #Mglitchat -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @rachelnseigel Are girls just called "mean girls" as if you can't have one without other? Where's the "mean boy" expression? #MGLITCHAT -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @cdaleywrite @AnshaKotyk Especially once they hit Jr. High. #mglitchat -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis Here! #mglitchat -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @KDuBayGillis Horray! #mglitchat -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @WriterRoss Ass-kicking jocks? #mglitchat -9:28 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone I have to wonder if kids who bully recognize themselves as the bully when reading books about bullying. #mglitchat -9:29 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @KDuBayGillis Woot! *waves* #mglitchat -9:29 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @cdaleywrite Exactly. Not fighting back. Rather learning to take the power back. An internal, not external, battle for my MC. #mglitchat -9:29 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @WriterRoss Does it go back to that whole "sugar and spice" thing about girls? #MGLITCHAT -9:29 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Is bully a one on one thing or a general persona? #MGLITCHAT -9:29 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @WriterRoss The bully is generally an individual, but there can be bully supporters. #MGLITCHAT -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis @AnshaKotyk Sorry so late. Scanning to see what I've missed. #mglitchat -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone A lot of people don't make the connection. Or maybe they do . I don't know, just thinking out loud. On the Internet. #mglitchat -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @elliefalcone I think we're still in the generation of "boys will be boys" or "girls are moody" when former bullies remember. #mglitchat -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


DiannaMWinget #mglitchat My current wip,sequel to A Smidgen of Sky, contains a bully who hides behind humor. Too common? -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @WriterRoss Some bullies r attention seekers and like the audience. #MGLITCHAT -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @elliefalcone Good question. I've thought about the same thing. #mglitchat -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @elliefalcone Good question! Do they see it as fun or do they feel convicted? #mglitchat -9:30 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @elliefalcone I think some may have to be guided there- but that's the idea- to open up discussion. #mglitchat -9:31 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JesseKlausmeier @WriterRoss I love, love, love FOOD, GIRLS, AND OTHER THINGS I CAN'T HAVE. #mglitchat @allenzadoff -9:31 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Bullies today? Not sure. I think there's so much justification, bullies can't really see it in the moment. #mglitchat -9:31 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel @WriterRoss YES! Everyone who stands silent is bully supporter. #mglitchat -9:31 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @JenniferCEstes And the ever dreaded poo-pooing of kid's cruelty. Oh, they're just kids. Yah, who grow into adults who bully. #mglitchat -9:32 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel Opening Discussion, that makes me wonder about creating a teacher's guide .. and how to handle the topic #mglitchat -9:32 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Like Jennifer wrote before, if I am going to have compassion for bully-doer <g>, there has to be natural reason for negativity. #MGLITCHAT -9:32 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat There are seven players in bullying- The Bully, the victim, the follower- (doesn’t initiate but joins in bullying) -9:32 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite What about bullying on the Internet? Worse/same as in real life? #mglitchat -9:32 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @elliefalcone Gah, yes. I see it even in my 4/5th graders. Shrug. Move on. #whaaaat #mglitchat -9:33 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes I mean that's their attitude, not mine! #mglitchat -9:33 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #mglitchat the passive supporter-supports the bully but doesn’t participate, the disengaged- doesn’t care either way, -9:33 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @JesseKlausmeier I've laughed before while reading. But I've never laughed so hard I had 2 run to bathroom while reading. #Zadoff #MGLITCHAT -9:34 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @DiannaMWinget I think that humor is a frequent cover for bullying. Many kids probably don't see it as such. A rich topic. #mglitchat -9:34 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #mglitchat passive defender- feels empathy for the victim but does nothing, the active defender- tries to intervene and help. -9:34 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @cdaleywrite Excellent point: cyber-bullying. Case of Montclair (NJ) student recently. #mglitchat -9:34 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes I wonder what they see from their parents. Like mentioned before, it's inherited, cyclical, and hard to break. #mglitchat -9:34 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel This is all excellent info Rachel, helpful if you're writing about bullying. #mglitchat -9:35 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes That is absolutely true! a bully breeds a bully. #mglitchat -9:35 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters RT @JenniferCEstes: I wonder what they see from their parents. Like mentioned before, it's inherited, cyclical, and hard 2 break. #mglitchat -9:35 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @cdaleywrite I say internet worse bc there is less recourse and more exposure of the humiliation. #mglitchat -9:35 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @cdaleywrite At the middle grade age, I think that the most likely place is text messages. It's happened to my kids. #mglitchat -9:35 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel Very psychological and I suppose we need to understand that when building characters who bully. #mglitchat -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @ilanawaters I think I read about that one, along with a few others on the news. Harder to police the web. #mglitchat -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters Remember the Rogers & Hammerstein song- You've got to be carefully taught #mglitchat -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Yes! It's important to really do your research on the psychology of bullying- figure out the motivation behind it. #mglitchat -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JesseKlausmeier @WriterRoss, now THAT'S a blurb if I ever heard one! #mglitchat @allenzadoff -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes So, what are recent titles with bullying themes that you recommend? #mglitchat And, why??? -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel *starts doing corresponding dance* What? I thought you were all joining in! #mglitchat -9:36 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Bully enablers. Like parents who claim their children can do no wrong. Thinking..girl in SAVVY (name?), parents were ministers..? #MGLITCHAT -9:37 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @AmyHoldge I would not want to be a kid in the Internet age. Yikes. When I got home, the bullying stopped. I had a brief reprieve #mglitchat -9:37 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters :-D #mglitchat -9:37 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @cdaleywrite I think he was right to take it up w/Montclair. They overstepped bounds. Still wish he'd admit to being a jacka$$. #mglitchat -9:37 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @JesseKlausmeier If he wants me for a re-print, I'm available. <gg> #MGLITCHAT -9:37 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @DiannaMWinget Exactly. "Can't you take a joke?" kind of a response. Puts the blame on the victim. #mglitchat -9:37 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @JeanGiardina How do you deal with it? Change their numbers? Call parents? #mglitchat -9:38 PM Jan 24th, 2013


RosanneParry @JenniferCEstes MG books tend to show sibling bullying more often than YA. An important sub category of bullying. #mglitchat -9:38 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @RosanneParry I agree! #mglitchat -9:39 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite Is there a difference between "funny" bullying and "mean" bullying? Or is it all bullying? #mglitchat -9:39 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss In novels, how you deal with it is different than how dealt with in real life. Novel Kid shoulders burdens and responsibility. #MGLITCHAT -9:40 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @cdaleywrite is that the same as passive bullying vs active bullying? #mglitchat -9:40 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @cdaleywrite Kids think there's a difference, but it's all just bullying. It's like the "Just Kidding" qualifier. #mglitchat -9:40 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @DiannaMWinget Yes, definitely. Sometimes it's as simply as a very normal adolescent urge to fit in with the group. #mglitchat -9:40 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @cdaleywrite It certainly feels the same. #mglitchat -9:40 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @cdaleywrite I say it's all bullying. The victim feels the same, no matter the manner it is delivered. #mglitchat -9:40 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk @cdaleywrite Again- it's perception. Kids who are passive bulliers- watch but don't actually do it r just as gulity. #mglitchat -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @cdaleywrite I talked my daughter thru it but she chose to deal with it herself. The girls had been friends since K. #mglitchat -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @DiannaMWinget Which is why the topic of bullying is so vast. Because it's just *complicated* and *vast* in real life. #mglitchat -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @WriterRoss I think in real life vicitms wait for it to blow over, while in books we force our MC to deal with it, actively DO #MGLITCHAT -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk @cdaleywrite But because they aren't the ones actually doing it, they think they r guiltless. #mglitchat -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss In real life, as parent I would step in/protect my cub (for better or worse). But we need kids in our books to solve their woes. #MGLITCHAT -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


RosanneParry @rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes Not always. The family dynamic is far more complex than that. #mglitchat -9:41 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @WriterRoss My mom tried- in 5th grade she stood out in the playground at recess to watch me. #MGLITCHAT -9:42 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @DiannaMWinget If the bully is good at being funny, adults may buy in to their explanations. Makes it more difficult to stop. #mglitchat -9:42 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @RosanneParry @JenniferCEstes Ok- that's true. Sometimes reverse happens- bully breeds a bullied child. #mglitchat -9:42 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Of course!:) RT @RosanneParry: @rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes Not always. The family dynamic is far more complex than that. #mglitchat -9:42 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @WriterRoss (Respectfully) disagree. Schools, parents, etc. needs to teach kids that bullying WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!! #mglitchat -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis @AnshaKotyk @WriterRoss This was my strategy in middle school. Would have loved an MC to show me how to deal. #mglitchat -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @WriterRoss Er, sorry. Didn't mean to shout. :-) #mglitchat I just feel v. strongly about this! #canyoutell? -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters @WriterRoss Many schools have implemented a zero tolerance policy 4 bullying. #mglitchat -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @AnshaKotyk Absolutely. Real life bullied kid is clearly not into confrontation. Wish I had bravery the kids we write about do. #MGLITCHAT -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


coachhays64 @AmyHoldge @cdaleywrite And the electronic life of cyber bullying hangs around for long periods of time with extensive reach. #mglitchat -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @KDuBayGillis I use a secondary character to show the MC how to cope. #mglitchat -9:43 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat that reminded me of one of my favourite bullying novels- The Revealers by Doug Wilhelm. -9:44 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @KDuBayGillis I would've loved an MC who just felt the same way! No straight-cut lines of bad/good, bully/victim, friend/enemy. #mglitchat -9:44 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel @WriterRoss I commend them for that! But I do wish communities would support them more. #mglitchat -9:44 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @JeanGiardina That's tough when there was a friendship broken :( #mglitchat -9:44 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Sometimes, it's a little less cut-and-dried, maybe more so for girls? #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel @WriterRoss It's tough for teachers, etc., to do it all. They're supposed to be there to *teach*! #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters @WriterRoss Me too! The stories of children killing themselves because of bullying is heartbreaking! #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @ilanawaters In real life, yes. Policy exists but I have to say it's not always implemented. #MGLITCHAT -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


DiannaMWinget #mglitchat At what age do you think kids start to prefer their parents let them handle things on their own? -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters @WriterRoss And girls in particular are very subtle and clever about it. #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis @JenniferCEstes For me, my bully was also my BFF. So complicated and heartbreaking. #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel @WriterRoss This is so horrifying to me. Part of why I want broader solutions, w/adults involved. #mglitchat I mean...1/2 -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @DiannaMWinget I think around 11 or 12. #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @ilanawaters Totally agreed re: teachers. #MGLITCHAT -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @WriterRoss Exactly. Which is why I could never identify with characters who stand up. Confrontation is terrifying. #mglitchat -9:45 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel @WriterRoss 2/2...children are dying. Clearly, they should not be left alone to handle this. #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @elliefalcone @WriterRoss I still suck at it! #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


RosanneParry @rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes And every now and then a resilient & highly empathetic child who grows up to be a strong advocate #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


coachhays64 @ilanawaters @WriterRoss True, it is a problem at all levels which must be dealt with at all those levels. #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @ilanawaters Ugh. OMG. Yes. Mine too. Which is why it's not always as black & white as adults want to make it, esp. these days. #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @cdaleywrite It was for the best. The girl bullying was wrapped in layers and layers of drama. My DD chose to walk away. #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SympleSymon @AnshaKotyk @KDuBayGillis Similar here: the MC has become the protagonist's reluctant protector from the bullies. #mglitchat -9:46 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @KDuBayGillis That's hard! #mglitchat -9:47 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss @elliefalcone I still let things happen to me and hope it goes away. (So yes, it's true. Our pen is mightier than our sword.) {} #MGLITCHAT -9:47 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @RosanneParry @JenniferCEstes I'd love to see more of them! #mglitchat -9:47 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite I was bullied once and my mom said if he hit me to hit him back. So I did. Got in trouble, but he never bothered me again. #mglitchat -9:48 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @KDuBayGillis @JenniferCEstes Whoa! That's gotta be a story. I foresee a great dealing of hugging going on in #mglitchat... -9:48 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Getting back? Getting revenge? In real life I couldn't do that if I tried. In fiction, let me at 'em. ;> #MGLITCHAT -9:48 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @cdaleywrite Confrontation is still very challenging for me. good for you! #mglitchat -9:48 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina Does bullying happen in some locations more than others? My big three are: the bus, the gym, and the cafeteria. #mglitchat -9:49 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis Are there teachers out there using MG novels to start a dialogue in the classroom on bullying? (In addition to WONDER) #mglitchat -9:49 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @cdaleywrite I was told to tell an adult. Though I secretly (not so secretly now) envy your being able to hit him. #mglitchat -9:49 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @cdaleywrite *high five* #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @JeanGiardina Hallways. These days, text and internet. #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina Those r big ones- anywhere where there r gaps in adult supervision. #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


MLConklin @JeanGiardina The PLAYGROUND! #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @JeanGiardina I hated the bus ride home. #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge @JeanGiardina All of the unsupervised areas. #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Oh, bathrooms? #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes @JeanGiardina There are starting to be more books that address Cyberbullying, but it's a huge problem! #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel RT @AmyHoldge: @JeanGiardina All of the unsupervised areas. #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @MLConklin Oh hai! Glad you could join. #mglitchat -9:50 PM Jan 24th, 2013


RosanneParry @rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes I can think of a few who grew up to be authors and one who grew up to be a supreme court justice. #mglitchat -9:51 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @AnshaKotyk Thx but I think I was lucky. I know now if some kids try to fight back, they get bullied worse the next time. #mglitchat -9:51 PM Jan 24th, 2013


MLConklin @KDuBayGillis SLOB is another great MG with some elements of bullying. I just reviewed it this week for #MMGM. #mglitchat -9:51 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @RosanneParry @JenniferCEstes That's wonderful! When kids r going thru it though, I'm sure it's hard 4 them 2 believe.. #mglitchat -9:51 PM Jan 24th, 2013


whbeck Gah, haven't been on a chat in a while. Adding #mglitchat! RT @whbeck: @KDuBayGillis EACH KINDNESS has been really powerful. -9:51 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina I'm interested in showing psychological bullying. Physical bullying seems easier for adults to see. Mind games are harder. #mglitchat -9:52 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @whbeck @KDuBayGillis That's a beautiful book! #mglitchat -9:52 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Following up, any titles that combine bullying and a bit of humor? Warp Speed by Lisa Yee comes to mind. #mglitchat -9:52 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes Indigo's Star by Hilary McKay. One of my faves! #mglitchat -9:52 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @elliefalcone You read my mind. My ms opens on the bus for that reason. #mglitchat -9:53 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @JeanGiardina I think anything that involves a girl bully. Girls just MESS with each other's mind, in ways more scarring. #mglitchat -9:53 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis @JeanGiardina I think the silent treatment is a powerful form of bullying. #mglitchat -9:53 PM Jan 24th, 2013


jenmaschari I know that our 6th grade uses BYSTANDER by James Preller with great success @KDuBayGillis #mglitchat -9:53 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @ilanawaters I did tell my mom, and those were her instructions :) That's just how they did things back in Vietnam I guess #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @JeanGiardina Mind games leave a longer-lasting impression, I think. #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel #Mglitchat Bullies in Books is a gr8 website for resources at all grade levels! http://t.co/ST0QzdKq -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @KDuBayGillis @JeanGiardina YES! Sadistic, but powerful. Forced social isolation is devastating. #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AmyHoldge Especially w girls. RT @KDuBayGillis: @JeanGiardina I think the silent treatment is a powerful form of bullying. #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


RosanneParry @JeanGiardina Any place where adults are inattentive, kids are bored, and the culture tolerates bullying. #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis @jenmaschari Hey you!!!!! Glad you're here! #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters @KDuBayGillis @JeanGiardina One of the best books I ever read on that is "Orchards" by Holly Thompson.. More YA, #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @JeanGiardina Ick. I get sick just thinking about it. #mglitchat -9:54 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Oh dear. Guy on news just uttered the words "Bully Pulpit." Eerie timing. #MGLITCHAT -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes Wimpy kid? #mglitchat -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes @KDuBayGillis The girl strategy. Was my bullying for 2 years. At least with a punch, it happens and is over. Silence goes on. #mglitchat -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss RT @rachelnseigel: #Mglitchat Bullies in Books is a gr8 website for resources at all grade levels! http://t.co/ARw8BFiA #MGLITCHAT -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @cdaleywrite Damn. Tough Vietnamese women! #mglitchat -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @cdaleywrite @JenniferCEstes There is a bullying element in Wimpy Kid, but it's not really the focus of the story. #mglitchat -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SpencerToday @JeanGiardina It happens everywhere now with texting, Facebook and Twitter. It's really tough to monitor. #mglitchat -9:55 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @elliefalcone @JeanGiardina Agree! Much harder to break bonds on the mind I think #mglitchat -9:56 PM Jan 24th, 2013


raeannparker @rachelnseigel Thank you. Great resource. #mglitchat -9:56 PM Jan 24th, 2013


dkdmac RT @AnshaKotyk: http://t.co/OIv5C1OB #mglitchat <---my 'bully' book. although it's more of an adventure. -9:56 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @SpencerToday @JeanGiardina I can't even fathom how to deal with texting bullying. Seems impossible 2 control! #mglitchat -9:56 PM Jan 24th, 2013


raeannparker RT @rachelnseigel: #Mglitchat Bullies in Books is a gr8 website for resources at all grade levels! http://t.co/ST0QzdKq -9:56 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk @rachelnseigel I suppose that's where teaching coping skills is important? #mglitchat -9:57 PM Jan 24th, 2013


jenmaschari @KDuBayGillis Mainly lurking but always happy to jump in #mglitchat -9:57 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SpencerToday @rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina Some kids start fake accounts just to do it. #mglitchat -9:57 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @rachelnseigel @SpencerToday I scan my kids phones every evening. They know I review and why. #mglitchat -9:57 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Probably the only thing you can do- prepare them as best u can.. #mglitchat -9:57 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina @SpencerToday Gr8 idea! More parents should! #mglitchat -9:57 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @SpencerToday @JeanGiardina That's the really scary thing! I'm so glad I'm not a kid now! #mglitchat -9:58 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Nooo! Teach kids EMPATHY, not just coping skills. PREVENT the bullying! #mglitchat -9:58 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SpencerToday @DiannaMWinget @JeanGiardina Thanks Dianna. As a high school teacher, I see it a lot. #mglitchat -9:58 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes RT @ilanawaters: @rachelnseigel @AnshaKotyk Nooo! Teach kids EMPATHY, not just coping skills. PREVENT the bullying! #mglitchat -9:59 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina @SpencerToday If I have kids one day, I'm totally doing that. #mglitchat -9:59 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk The teaching has to start young- there r some gr8 picture books. #mglitchat -9:59 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis @rachelnseigel @SpencerToday @JeanGiardina I'm so scared to have middle schoolers! Wah. Unprepared. #mglitchat -9:59 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @SpencerToday @rachelnseigel So hard to stay on top of all the different sites. Instagram is my latest enemy. #mglitchat -9:59 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes HUGS.RT @KDuBayGillis: @rachelnseigel @SpencerToday @JeanGiardina I'm so scared to have middle schoolers! Wah. Unprepared. #mglitchat -9:59 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SpencerToday @JeanGiardina @rachelnseigel We really promote that with parents. So great to hear you do that. #mglitchat -10:00 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina @SpencerToday #mglitchat I guess it shouldn't surprise me that there is bullying there too. -10:00 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite @elliefalcone Thanks :) #mglitchat -10:00 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @JenniferCEstes @KDuBayGillis @SpencerToday @JeanGiardina Hard 2 b a kid- harder 2 be a parent. #mglitchat -10:00 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @SpencerToday You're a teacher? You are so many shades of awesome! Oh, and hai! Long time, we no tweeted. #mglitchat -10:00 PM Jan 24th, 2013


elliefalcone @JeanGiardina Instagram? Wow. #mglitchat -10:01 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SpencerToday @KDuBayGillis @rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina Just so you know, the kids stick together with social media and protect each other. #mglitchat -10:01 PM Jan 24th, 2013


rachelnseigel @SpencerToday @KDuBayGillis @JeanGiardina The thing is- I think Facebook COULD do more, and won't. #mglitchat -10:01 PM Jan 24th, 2013


AnshaKotyk Great chat tonight folks! I'm going to pull the transcript now. #mglitchat -10:01 PM Jan 24th, 2013


SpencerToday @cdaleywrite @rachelnseigel @JeanGiardina It’s a great idea to do that. Contracts with your kids too. #mglitchat -10:02 PM Jan 24th, 2013


ilanawaters @AnshaKotyk Thank you for hosting! A v. important topic. #mglitchat Night, all! -10:02 PM Jan 24th, 2013


cdaleywrite Heading out. Thanks for the lovely chat! #mglitchat -10:02 PM Jan 24th, 2013


WriterRoss Hard to be troubled kid; grateful there's public awareness&intervention now than times when it was: Don't Get Involved mentality #MGLITCHAT -10:02 PM Jan 24th, 2013


KDuBayGillis Thanks, @AnshaKotyk for leading a great chat! #mglitchat -10:02 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JeanGiardina @SpencerToday @KDuBayGillis @rachelnseigel My kids are not on FB or Twitter. Instagram, Kik, cell texts are where they connect. #mglitchat -10:03 PM Jan 24th, 2013


JenniferCEstes Thank you to the hostesses! So glad I could *finally* get here! #mglitchat Great chat, huge important topic, excellent thoughts, all! -10:03 PM Jan 24th, 2013



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